May 18th, 2013. That day, as all brides say, is a blur in my memory, but certain things do stick out fairly well. There are the sweet memories, like the way he looked at me over the altar as we both reverently spoke the word "yes" in confirmation of our eternal vows, even though we both wanted to shout it so loudly that it would ring through the halls of the temple. There are the funny moments, like when our grand entrance into our reception was announced, our guests cheered, the music for our first dance started playing, and......we were nowhere to be found! (No, no, nothing like that, I was just busy eating chips and guacamole, he was busy giving me a foot massage, we had no idea it was time yet.) There are the panicky then, silly now moments, like how when I was a little late that morning he legitimately thought I wasn't coming, that I was having second thoughts--but really, it was just that my hair took a while (he's now well-acquainted with this phenomenon). There's even a bit of regret that we didn't sit down to enjoy our cake (and then instead of freezing the top cake layer for us to enjoy later, MY FAMILY ATE THE LEFTOVERS THE NEXT DAY) (still not over it). And there are the truly exciting moments, like the grand exit we made as our loved ones sent us off, sparklers waving, to our hotel, to Mexico the next day, to our life together, forever. Like most brides would say, it was the very best day of my life. And what a perfectly lovely six months I have shared with my love since we were married in Los Angeles that sunny day in May.
For now, one piece of advice we received when we first got engaged sticks out the most. One of our relatives counseled us that the first year of marriage would be the hardest, and that the patterns we would establish in that first year would set the tone for the rest of our marriage, so we should create reasonable expectations. For instance, if I don't want to get stuck making dinner AND doing the dishes for the rest of my life (a grim prospect, admittedly), I shouldn't try to impress Jordan with my domestic goddess "I can do it all" skills during year one, only to be left wondering why HE never does the dishes years two through fifty. So the idea is to not over perform in this first year, setting ourselves up for a lifetime of exhausting overachievement (or disappointing underperformance) in the years to come.
Respectfully, we disagree.
We have spent the last six months trying our very hardest to set only the highest expectations for ourselves and each other, knowing that, just as we were counseled, we are establishing precedents against which we may be measured for the rest of our lives. We are trying our hardest to make sure that we are giving each other our best, from the littlest acts of kindness to the biggest gestures of generosity we can muster. Now, before I risk sounding arrogant, I freely share that even as I write this, I can think of five, ten, twenty times where one of us has failed the other and/or ourself. Even in these blissful first months, some days it has seemed like we're failing more often than we're succeeding. We're quite different, he and I, and we're both very stubborn when we want to be, which is often. And yet I know how dedicated he is to this cause, the cause of our life together, because I feel it and see it everyday, and I hope he could say the same. As it turns out, most days it isn't actually that hard at all--if this easy breezy year is somehow supposed to be the hardest, bring on the rest!
Now just a few more photos of the two of us from that wonderful day (more of our reception, wedding party, guests, and details coming soon).
More wedding photos here!
All photos taken by the lovely and talented Linda Arredondo--LA (and everywhere else) people, book her and tell her we sent you! Photos taken at the Los Angeles LDS temple, where we were married, and a private residence in Beverly Hills, where we held our reception.